I have a confession to make.
I was not at all in the holiday spirit this year. Not religiously, not secularly, none of it. If anything, I’ve been avoiding it. I didn’t decorate at all. I haven’t gone to any special services. I haven’t attended any parties. It’s been just another day. Just another month. Not to say that I’m not glad others having a good time and I am incredibly grateful for the gifts sweet friends and family have blessed me with this year, but it’s like watching a TV show from a far. It doesn’t feel real (Though nothing specific has happened to set this off. I truly can’t place my apathy this year outside of neurons misfiring in my brain).
Depression is a very real thing for many come the holidays. It can be due to a myriad of issues from work problems to family issues to just the sheer overplayed holiday songs that you’ve heard for decades that make you want to punch a wall (unless it’s Carol of the Bells. Who doesn’t like that epic movie-sounded piece?!). For some, like me, it’s simply chemical imbalances that like to go off at the most inopportune times.
So alas, I have no pretty pictures to share from this year, no special outfit or photoshoot. But I shall leave you with fun pictures from a couple years ago when my mental illnesses hadn’t reared their ugly heads yet. It was a truly lovely day when a couple friends and I volunteered as our superhero alter egos at a local children’s hospital. That year I was able to give of myself physically to make others smile during the holidays. (You can read all about there here. Of course we had to step outside afterwards for some super shenanigans. I’ve not shared these before, so please enjoy!)
Every holiday season has its ups and downs for everyone. One year may be delightful and the next dismal. During these holidays, remember those who suffer silently and be kind to yourself if you’re one of them. The holiday season is for you too. <3
Photographs: Chelsea Patricia Photography
As mentioned in my previous 
Many kids in hospitals are too sick to leave the grounds, so with special permission, sometimes charity groups are allowed in. Rather than going into individual hospital rooms (which can sometimes be dangerous for patients, depending on the severity level of their condition), we stationed ourselves in the lobby where those well enough (or with the help of caretakers) could come see us.
As one might expect most were very shy, but there was no mistaking the light in their eyes to see their favourite superheroes or the therapy dogs nearby. It seems like it’s not a big deal, but it can make a world of difference to a child.
I remember one charity event I did as Belle from Beauty and the Beast, there was a painfully shy little girl that I got down on the ground to give a hug to. She seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me, only giving me a hug when her parents asked her to. I didn’t think anything of it until her parents told me that the little girl was so excited she almost fainted when she saw me. “We just got back from a Make a Wish trip to Disney world. Belle is her favourite, but there was no Belle when we there. So when she saw you, we told her Belle had come just for her.” (Oh yeah, cue the waterworks on my account!) So I kept that in mind with the quiet, shy children at this charity event. Some were shy or in so much pain they couldn’t bring themselves to smile, but you could still see it in their eyes. I spoke quiet encouragement to some of them, hugged those who wanted it, and posed for pictures for hopefully good memories.
Be the joy you want to see in the world.