I have a confession to make.
I was not at all in the holiday spirit this year. Not religiously, not secularly, none of it. If anything, I’ve been avoiding it. I didn’t decorate at all. I haven’t gone to any special services. I haven’t attended any parties. It’s been just another day. Just another month. Not to say that I’m not glad others having a good time and I am incredibly grateful for the gifts sweet friends and family have blessed me with this year, but it’s like watching a TV show from a far. It doesn’t feel real (Though nothing specific has happened to set this off. I truly can’t place my apathy this year outside of neurons misfiring in my brain).
Depression is a very real thing for many come the holidays. It can be due to a myriad of issues from work problems to family issues to just the sheer overplayed holiday songs that you’ve heard for decades that make you want to punch a wall (unless it’s Carol of the Bells. Who doesn’t like that epic movie-sounded piece?!). For some, like me, it’s simply chemical imbalances that like to go off at the most inopportune times.
So alas, I have no pretty pictures to share from this year, no special outfit or photoshoot. But I shall leave you with fun pictures from a couple years ago when my mental illnesses hadn’t reared their ugly heads yet. It was a truly lovely day when a couple friends and I volunteered as our superhero alter egos at a local children’s hospital. That year I was able to give of myself physically to make others smile during the holidays. (You can read all about there here. Of course we had to step outside afterwards for some super shenanigans. I’ve not shared these before, so please enjoy!)
Every holiday season has its ups and downs for everyone. One year may be delightful and the next dismal. During these holidays, remember those who suffer silently and be kind to yourself if you’re one of them. The holiday season is for you too. <3
Photographs: Chelsea Patricia Photography
This year our house is still messed up from some ongoing remodel projects and for the second year in the row we did not have our family Christmas here mom is our oldest member of our family and I know the strain is really getting on her the fact that all of her grandkids and great-grandkids Families are taking time away that she would like to have with them
problems of a large family it’s hard to get together it takes a lot of work a lot of communication and a lot of understanding so it’s easy to get depressed when things don’t work out the way that you would like
We’ve been finding that we have to give a little have smaller parties with different parts of the family
I can’t imagine having physical ailments that would be added to the mix would be only more of a strain it’s worse if you have to try to fight it alone without a support system
So here’s to the new year instead of worrying about huge goals making smaller achievements attainable ones
Oh my, a bloggers worst fear, letting the audience in. However, you shone a light on an invisible problem that you and many people suffer from but still you reached into the past to find that smile. Next year is a new story yet to be written.